Healing
by LeighLeigh88
Summary: My first fanfic. Set during New Moon; after the birthday party incident Jasper takes it upon himself to help Bella through Edward's disappearance. Will their newfound friendship blossom into something more? Mostly JPOV, with some EPOV.
1. Chapter 1

**This fic takes place at the beginning of Eclipse. It's just my interpretation of what I wanted to see… I didn't like how Jasper was kind of glossed over and it leapt straight into Edward's reaction. **

**I own nothing, all characters belong to S.M. **

**Please keep in mind this is my first attempt at writing anything fiction aside from assignments in creative writing in school… And enjoy! **

**JPOV**

I felt the emotions in the room shift on a dime from joy, anticipation and a bit of embarrassment (the latter most likely coming from Bella as she was renowned for her aversion to being the center of attention) to what could only be described as pure terror and dread. Almost instantaneously I smelled it, reveled in it, completely helpless as the enticing aroma swirled around in my head. My eyes quickly began hazing over into tunnel vision until all I could focus on was the tiny pinprick sized drop of blood that had pooled on her finger.

Somewhere inside me, deep, _deep_ down I began to fight with myself. The monster inside me raged, begging to be released; it had been so long since I had given in to his demands. In a last ditch effort I held my breath, only to realize that it was of no use, the damage had been done. With what fleeting willpower I had left I shot my thoughts out to Edward, "_Please, do what you have to, I can't stop this…" _before everything went completelyblank.

**EPOV**

I watched, panic stricken, as she slid her finger under the corner of the silver paper, just as I'm sure she had done countless times before. She pulled her hand back quickly, muttering a nearly silent "Oops!" as she did. The thoughts of my family seemed to have turned up in volume, making it nearly impossible to concentrate.

"_What… Oh…"_

"_Isn't she going to open it? Wait… Did she just…"_

"_Stupid girl, can't she go five minutes without…"_

But the loudest thoughts were at nearly a screeching level. First was Alice, if I hadn't been looking at her terrified expression I would have thought she were actually yelling my name. _"EDWARD! Get her out of here, I'm so very sorry I didn't see it! Take her, RUN!"_

Before I had even begun to comprehend what she was saying, Jasper's pained thoughts hit me full force, if I weren't a vampire I would have sworn they had knocked the wind out of me. "_Please, do what you have to, I can't stop this…"_ I darted my eyes to meet his, just as the gold seemed to melt into a deep, thick black, almost as if the colour had been drained right out of them. I threw my arm back to push Bella behind me as I angled myself between the two. There were two resounding crashes, one from behind me and the next not a full second later as Jasper slammed into me, desperate to get to her, snarling and snapping his teeth just barely a centimeter from my face.

Alice, Emmett and Rose quickly wrestled him away, only making it a few feet before he began thrashing wildly in an attempt to escape their hold. Alice was almost instantly standing directly in front of him, trying to talk him down. "Jazzy, that's Bella. It's just a papercut Jazz, just… a… WE NEED TO GET HIM OUT NOW! EMMETT, ROSE, GET HIM OUT!"

Emmett and Rose began to drag him through the door, Emmett's arms wrapped around Jasper's torso, with Rosalie pushing from the front, dodging his snapping jaws and flailing arms as he fought tooth and nail to reach Bella. Alice had turned to look at me, her thoughts remorseful as she whispered, "Carlisle, get to Bella, she needs you." As she backed her way out the door after her mate, she fired her thoughts at me. _"I'm sorry Edward, I can't… I need to get out."_

I turned to see Carlisle bent over Bella who had been slammed into the wall, falling onto a glass table and crashing through it. Her arm had shards of glass protruding from all over, her shirt drenched in her sweet, tempting… _STOP IT! _I mentally berated myself. _You love her, you love her, she needs you_…

I snarled, the beast deep within me hell bent on defending what was rightfully my own. Carlisle could not have her, I had waited so long, denied myself the sweet indulgence she kept hidden within her. First Jasper had tried to take her from me, and now my father? I crouched, prepared to take what was mine, whatever the cost.

My inner battle was soon interrupted as Carlisle looked me in the eyes, sorrow and worry etched in his normally calm features. "Edward, get my bag, then you need to see to Jasper. He'll be beating himself up over this, you are the only one he will listen to." _"You need to get some air, I can take care of her, don't torture yourself," _his thoughts contradicted his words. He was silently giving me a way out, without scaring Bella any further. I could already smell the adrenaline pumping through her veins, her heartbeat nearly double what it usually was. "Go to him, Edward. Tell him I don't blame him, it was nothing. Please, don't torture yourself, I know this has to be killing you. Go, get some air, I'll find you when we are finished here."

Despite his attempts to hide my discomfort from her, she knew that I was battling with myself. She was fully aware that in that moment I was almost as much of a danger to her as Jasper had been, and she still worried more about us than herself. I sprinted up the stairs, bringing Carlisle his bag, and after whispering a quick "I'm sorry," ran out the door in search of my family.

**JPOV**

Once out in the fresh air my mind started to clear. I came to face down on the grass, Emmett nonchalantly sitting on my back and Rose pacing back and forth mumbling about how she had warned us all. Alice was watching her, trembling from head to toe, her eyes full of the sadness and disappointment I could feel emanating from her tiny form, but still glaring daggers at her sister. I hated making her feel that way, I hated knowing that I was the cause of her inner torment. "Let me up, Em. I'm fine, let me up," I said softly. He looked to Alice, undoubtedly to see if I were safe enough to be freed. She closed her eyes momentarily before nodding her approval.

I didn't stand up, but instead rolled onto my back and sat up, resting my head in my hands. "I tried," I whispered, "I tried so damn hard to fight it. I knew I didn't want to hurt her, but _It _just wouldn't free me. You have to understand, Alice, I never wanted to…"

"I know, Jasper, and so does everyone else here. Bella is in there right now, trying to get Edward to come out and tell you she isn't angry with you. She doesn't blame you Jasper."

"SHE SHOULD!" I bellowed, shaking with self-loathing and shame. "I don't deserve her forgiveness. I nearly killed her. It wasn't even an accident really. Part of me acknowledged who she was, what she was to our family, and didn't give half a shit about it. I felt her fear, but underneath it was her compassion. She felt bad about putting me through that, but even knowing she was worried about me, knowing how kind hearted and good she was, I still… If I hadn't been stopped…"

I jumped up quickly and ran towards the treeline, ripping a tree, roots and all, from the ground and launching it across the river. I fell to my knees and sobbed silently, my whole body aching for the sweet girl I had so heartlessly tried to destroy. I briefly wondered what hold she had on me, I hadn't felt remorse for any of the other countless humans I had drained. I quickly pushed that thought away, after all how many of them had I called my sister, my friend?

I heard soft footsteps coming towards me from the house, and knowing it was Edward I braced myself for the punishment I knew I deserved. I wouldn't fight back, wouldn't defend myself. I would take all he could give and welcome it, knowing it would never be penance enough for my many sins.

Instead he sat silently, gazing across the water, still as stone. It was nearly an hour before he broke the silence, and even then it was barely a whisper. "She wants me to tell you she forgives you. No, not even that. She wanted me to tell you that there is nothing to forgive." I glanced at him, not at all surprised that she would say that, but more than shocked that he wasn't pointing out just how wrong she was on the matter. I tasted the emotions surrounding him, expecting rage, hatred and disgust, but shocked when I found only sadness and something else I couldn't quite place… Determination?

"We need to leave. I can't stay by her side knowing the danger I put her in just by being there. All of us but Carlisle had to leave the room because of the blood… If it had only been her and I, if I hadn't been so consumed with defending her from you… With keeping her for myself…"

I looked at him, shocked and confused, not believing the conclusion my mind had come to. He had wanted to keep her for himself? No, that couldn't be true. He had only wanted to keep her alive, he loved her. This time his emotions were more scattered; remorse, sadness, disappointment and a huge dose of, yes, there it was again. Determination.

"So, we are leaving? What are you going to tell her? She will never let you go without a fight. I can feel it every time she looks at you, pure, unadulterated devotion. I can tell you are set on this, but have you taken into account her reaction? I don't see how you could get her to just sit back and watch you walk away. She already thinks she doesn't deserve you, if you tell her you are doing this for her, she…"

"She won't get a say in the matter," he said quietly, cutting me off. "She isn't concerned enough to care for her own well being, I'll have to do something to remedy that on my own."

So he was just going to leave her then? I could tell just by the set of his jaw that he wouldn't back down. After all the pain and grief I had already caused her, I couldn't let him just abandon her like this. I carefully kept my thoughts from him, trying to come up with a way to at least lessen the blow he was so adamant about inflicting upon her. She didn't deserve that kind of heartache, she would at least have some sort of comfort, I would be sure of it.

**A/N:**

**This is my first fic, so be kind. **** I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism you all have for me, I have read many fics but have yet to try my own hand. I haven't quite decided if this will be a Bella/Jasper fic or not, but I do know they will at least form a more friendly relationship, as their lack of interaction in the books always left me wanting more. There may be some Jacob thrown in as well, but there won't be the whole love triangle thing going on as I never liked how she strung him along only to break his heart. As I said, any suggestions are more than welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

**JPOV**

It had been three days since Edward had divulged to me his plans to leave Bella, and although he had yet to say anything to her about it he had already discussed it with the rest of our family. The only one of us who didn't seem to see a problem with his decision was, unsurprisingly, Rosalie. The rest of us were unhappy to say the least, although Alice and Esme seemed to be taking the news the hardest. Alice had fought tooth and nail to try to change his mind, showing him the visions she had had since he made the decision that night.

"Edward, you may believe you are doing this for her, but please believe me when I tell you that she won't live if you carry on down this path. I'm not saying she will die, but everything that makes Bella who she is will be gone. She will be an empty shell. You've seen the visions, Edward. Do you really think that she is better off living like that than she would be with us?" If she were capable of crying I know she would have been at that moment. It pained me to no end to feel the agony rolling off of her in waves as she thought about losing her best friend and sister.

"She is human, Alice. With time, she will move on." With that he trudged back up to his room to continue packing his music and other personal effects to be sent to Alaska along with the rest of the family's belongings.

Esme took it just as hard as Alice, barely speaking a word to anyone as she shuffled through the house at less than a human speed, packing the things we would be bringing with us. Even Carlisle couldn't coax her to speak more than short, clipped sentences with him, let alone grant him a smile.

Emmett was trying harder than anyone else to lighten the mood, despite the fact that he was suffering nearly as much as Alice and Esme. He saw Bella as a sister, someone to be protected and cherished, and I could feel his anguish at the thought of leaving her behind. But true to typical Emmett fashion, he was cracking jokes and coming up with stupid competitions for us to partake in. I was starting to feel terrible for him, as all of his efforts were falling on deaf ears.

Carlisle was taking it in stride. He was deeply saddened with the decision Edward had forced upon all of us, but when given the choice between losing Edward when he left and leaving with him "for the sake of Bella's well-being," he claimed that it was an easy decision. He would follow Edward wherever he felt he needed to go, and because of Carlisle's stance on the matter it left us little choice: Keep our coven intact or split off from our family to do what we thought was right.

In the midst of all of Edward's guilt ridden moping, and the rest of my family's mourning the impending loss of their sister, daughter, and friend, a plan was forming deep in the back of my mind. I was desperate to find a way to ease the pain Bella was destined to feel at the hands of the _boy _that she loved. I couldn't bring myself to call him a man. A man wouldn't abandon the woman he loved to placate his own conscience; he would do what he could to protect her, but never take away the one thing she held closest to her heart, the one thing she deemed worth living for.

The very worst part of it in my mind was that even without Alice's gift to show him the outcome he knew that this was going to shatter her. He was knowingly leaving her to suffer alone, to live whatever half-life she could live in his absence. He had himself once said that if she were to somehow not be in his life he would end his own existence. Did he truly believe that she would feel any differently? This weak, young, warm woman had proven time and time again that she would do everything in her power to protect him, as well as our family, with no regard for her own safety. And he was ready to just throw her away?

Alice was starting to see bits and pieces of my plan, a hard as I tried to conceal them. Every so often she would drag me out, claiming she wanted to hunt, only to get out of hearing range of the house and wheel around to confront me. The last time this happened was the day Edward was set to break Bella's heart. We were just finishing up with the moving trucks, we were to leave early in the day and he was set to meet up with us in Alaska. She dragged me a good 10 miles from the house, telling Carlisle and Esme she wanted one last look at what she would always consider her home.

"I don't know exactly what you are planning, Jasper, but whatever it is Edward will never allow it. He truly believes she is going to move on, find love and live her life. If he thinks you are going to interfere with that…"

"I can't just leave her to rot Ali! She did nothing to deserve this. She gave him everything she had and has not once asked for anything in return but his love… He is going to crush her, you've seen it yourself! If I have to I'll separate from the family, go my own way, but I can't… No, I WON'T let her wither away because of his stubbornness. I haven't been the best friend to her, and if he leaves her it will be on my conscience as much as his. I've caused her enough pain to last a lifetime, I owe her at least this much."

I watched as a glaze came over her features, her eyes staring straight ahead into nothing. After a few moments she came back, focusing on my face, and a tiny smile graced her lips, the first I'd seen in days. "You're right Jazzy. And as much as I love her and wish I could help, it needs to be you. You're the only one that will be able to reason with her. I'll keep it from Edward as long as I can, he won't be happy if he finds out. But you need to do this alone. He will know something is going on if I don't stay with the family, he already believes I'm planning something. We'll tell them you need some time to clear your head; it will give you some time at least."

With that she bounded off, skipping her way back home as if a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. Unfortunately for me, it felt as if it had been dumped right on top of my shoulders. She wanted me to be alone with Bella? Hadn't I proven my control to be less than adequate? I shouldn't be trusted with this, and certainly not all alone!

Later that evening, after Alice and I had explained my "situation" to the family, I watched them drive off without me. I would be staying at the house until I figured out where I wanted to go for my "break from the family." The general consensus was that I would spend a few months with Char and Peter, pull my head out of my ass and come home. Edward was more than happy to not be forced to look at me for awhile; apparently Bella had taken it worse than he had anticipated and he was all for placing the blame for this on me.

It was after 3 am when I decided it would probably be safe to check in on her, just to make sure she was dealing with the situation healthily. I wouldn't have her offing herself only a few hours after he had left, not to mention the fact that I was itching to talk to her and apologize for my heinous behavior at her party.

I ran in the direction of her house until I was about a quarter mile away, slowing to a jog to prepare myself for being confined inside close quarters with her. The last thing either of us needed was for me to go nuts and try to drain her on what was probably one of the worst nights of her existence.

I scaled the side of her house until I was perched outside her window, which was slightly ajar. I knew this was because she left it open for Edward's convenience, and I silently cursed him again for the pain he was inflicting on this innocent girl. Peering in the window, I saw her curled into a ball on her bed, rocking slightly back and forth. Her arms were clenched tightly around her midsection, and her hair was a damp matted mess, mud, sticks and leaves tangled in her mahogany tresses.

She was mumbling something softly to herself, even with my vampire hearing I could barely make it out. It sounded almost as if she was just moaning to herself quietly. When I strained myself to listen closer I could faintly make out the two words she continued to chant to herself in the dark: He's gone.

**A/N: I just noticed that in the author's note for Ch 1 I wrote that this fic took place in Eclipse, but it is obviously New moon. My mistake! **

**I own nothing, all characters belong to S.M.**

**Again, any constructive criticism is welcome, I hope to hear from you with any suggestions etc!**


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